Baseball, Boys, and Bad Words by Andy Andrews

Author:Andy Andrews
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2013-05-31T16:00:00+00:00

Coach Simpson didn’t say much, but when he did, he was still saying things we didn’t understand: “Take another rap. Pray hard, pray hard!” We were a confused group of kids. It was at the end of practice, however, during the compulsory pep talk, when everything became crystal clear.

“There is one thing about this game you can count on,” he said. “If you don’t rearn to watch the basebarr hit the basebarr grove, you wirr never be an excerrent basebarr prayer.”

Well, we were stunned. After two and a half hours of total darkness, we suddenly understood. A rap? Pray? He had wanted us to take a lap! He had wanted us to play hard! How could we have been so blind?

From the depths of a pep talk to which no one was listening—like a bolt from the blue—those weird words all came together and made sense. Certain words from his last sentence jumped out at us like sparks from a bonfire. “Blah, blah, blah, rearn, blah, blah, blah, basebarr, blah, blah, basebarr grove, blah, blah, wirr, blah, blah, blah, excerrent basebarr prayer.”

It was now an undeniable fact that had become apparent to us all in one fell swoop. Coach Simpson could not say his Ls!

We stood silently exchanging furtive glances, as Hankin Jr. and Sr. got in their car and drove away. No one had spoken a word yet, but we suspected that we had been the recipients of a miracle from God. We could scarcely contain our collective excitement. To a group of eleven-year-old boys, nothing beats having a human target at which to laugh. Double the fun if the boys are able to mimic the target, and triple if the unfortunate target happens to be an adult!

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